Parody of Baby-Sitters Club book cover, #387, Titled, "Jessi Is Too Old for This Nonsense."

#387: Jessi Is Too Old for This Nonsense

“I mean, you have a whole apartment’s worth of stuff.” I thought once I’d hit my 30s, I’d never have to help a friend move in exchange for pizza and beer ever again. My husband loved to save money– he literally had us blind taste test Costco coffee and some bulk brand he found on Amazon to see if we could drink the cheapest coffee possible, or if we should splurge and stick with the second cheapest– but we’d hired people our last two moves. We weren’t sadists. (Masochists? I can never keep the two straight. I guess both apply.)

Parody of Baby-Sitters Club Book cover. #382. Titled, "Don't Poop Where You Eat, Kristy."

#382: Don’t Poop Where You Eat, Kristy

My cell buzzed in the pocket of my track pants. Three times in a row, so I told my client, Elizabeth, “Do you mind if I check my phone?” And she shook her head as well as she could with a barbell on her shoulders.

It was Jesse: Hey, are you available? 

I just dropped of O at MA’s, and she seems to be in a pretty bad place.

 I’d stay myself, but the daycare charges a fortune if I don’t pick up D by 6:30.